I have always been open about my struggles with mental health. I am a firm believer that silence promotes stigma, and so I have done my best to share my struggles. It isn’t easy. It feels vulnerable and often times I worry people will think I am looking for pity — which I assure you, I am not. I share because I want to normalize mental illness as illness. I share because I want to normalize what life is like when you live with a chronic illness. I share because I hope to create more compassion and understanding in the world.
I have had quite a few different diagnoses over the years – the reality is that as a society, we still don’t truly understand a great deal of how the brain works – so multiple diagnoses for someone with serious mental health issues is not unusual. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, binge eating disorder and borderline personality disorder. I have worked hard to learn how to manage my illnesses through a combination of medication, therapy and coping skills. Unfortunately, it isn’t a perfect system and there are times when some aspect(s) of my illnesses become unmanageable.
This has been my reality over the last month. I see now that it has been moving in that direction for some time – I knew I wasn’t 100% of course, but I thought I was coping. Until I wasn’t. Thankfully, when my symptoms became unmanageable, I saw it and knew I needed to do something and got in touch with my doctor.
That said, I am still not out of this particular flare up. I’m hopeful I am heading back towards symptom management, but that is a process that can take weeks or longer. I have had to make choices that support my recovery, but aren’t necessarily easy choices to make… but I know that if I make those choices now, I will have a better chance to get back to that place where my symptoms are well managed as quickly as possible.
With that said, my public classes have all been canceled for now. I am hoping to re-introduce them (one at a time) sometime in April. I will have some on demand classes coming available soon on YogaForEveryone.tv. I don’t have dates for those yet, but I will make sure they are posted on my social media when I do.
Things don’t always work the way we want them to. Thankfully, the lessons we learn on our mat about acceptance and flexibility (and I don’t mean touching toes) can help us in those times off of our mat.
With love and gratitude,
Cara